About a year ago, I received a phone call from a lady with an interesting request.
This lady was a children’s counsellor, supporting children to talk through issues such as depression, bereavement and trauma. She had been asked to work with a child who was non-verbal and naturally, she was a little bewildered- How could she attempt ‘talking therapy’ with a child who didn’t ‘talk’ in the traditional sense?!
And this is where I came in, armed with a toolkit of symbols and a Talking Mat (If you don’t know what a Talking Mat is you will by the end of this blog post…!). It was a fascinating morning, supporting this lady in an alternative version of ‘talking therapy’- AAC therapy in a different sense to what I am used to!
The whole experience got me thinking- Our children with disabilities, with ASC, with PMLD…They go through a lot, don’t they? On a daily basis they have become accustomed to dealing with issues such as pain, isolation, lack of privacy, having decisions made for them, being patronised or overlooked…
If I had to deal with these issues on a daily basis, I would feel pretty depressed, frustrated and maybe angry at times.
Yet do we equip our children to really talk through these issues? To actually discuss how daily life can be a challenge at times?
So in today’s blog, I’m going to think about a few ideas as to how we can encourage our children to be open, giving them the language to really tell us how they’re feeling.
- Provide access to ‘emotion words’
One of the core words that someone who uses AAC should have access to is ‘help’.
However, when a child says “Help”, I think we often automatically gravitate towards physical needs, pulling out symbols for ‘hot’, ‘thirsty’, ‘uncomfortable’, ‘tired’, etc.
But what if a child wants to express that they are sad, frustrated, bored, worried, scared…? Or equally if they want to express a more joyful emotion such as excitement, happiness or amazement?!
Like with any vocabulary, our children need to be exposed to these words and their corresponding symbols- They need to link the symbol to the emotion and as always, this is done through modelling. Whilst reading a story we can talk about how the character feels whilst using the symbols ( “They are scared of the bear!”), we can use symbols to talk about our own emotions (“I feel excited today!”) or we can comment on others around us, explaining their emotions using symbols (“Lucy is a bit sad today because she has lost her teddy”).
More importantly, we need to ensure that children who use AAC have access to a ‘feelings’ page within their communication book or device and encourage them to use it by asking them how they feel about things that are happening around them. This also shows that we value their emotions; that we are interested in listening to their thoughts and feelings.
- Practice talking about emotions
I run a weekly communication group with 7 children who use alternative forms of communication. We start every session by talking about how we feel today. I’ll kick things off by saying I’m happy or tired (a common feeling on a Thursday morning…!) and then the children will use symbols to say how they feel.
But emotions can be integrated into many different activities and lessons. I particularly like to use sensory activities to practice talking about feelings. These are just a few ideas:
- Playing a range of emotive songs (classical may be best for this activity) and asking the children how it makes them feel (scared, excited, happy, etc),
- Using a feely bag or a magic potion (green jelly with lots of yucky things hidden inside like plastic spiders and eye-balls!)- ask the children how they feel before they put their hands in (worried, excited, disgusted, etc),
- Sensory stories- As I mentioned before, talking about how a character feels in a story can be a useful way to discuss emotions…but sometimes this is a bit abstract, requiring the child to use inference, putting themselves in another’s shoes. A sensory story helps to bridge that gap as the child is more of an active participant, experiencing the same sensations that the character in a story might feel; a perfect time to practice talking about feelings! There are a few nice examples of sensory stories with accompanying switch activated powerpoints on this site: http://www.portlandcollege.org/curriculum/resources/
- Talking Mats
I mentioned Talking Mats at the beginning of this blog as this is my ‘go to’ tool for finding out a child’s opinions, thoughts and feelings.
Basically a Talking Mat is an old car mat, used with a selection of laminated symbols with velcro on the back- it might not sound glamorous (unless you can get your hands on a sparkly, purple car-mat…) but it’s simple and effective!
The idea is that you have a top line of symbols placed on the mat e.g. ‘happy’, ‘sad’, ‘not sure’ . The child is then given a variety of symbols representing activities or aspects of their daily life and they can sort the symbols under the heading that it applies to e.g. ‘playing with friends’ may make the child feel happy, whilst ‘being alone’ may make the child feel sad.
You begin to build up a picture, almost a graph on the mat, which helps you to see a child’s feelings at a glance. I normally take a photo of the end result, print it, date it and then when I re-do the activity at a later date, see how (or if) things have changed.
Some specific occasions when Talking Mats might come in handy?! Here are just a few examples…
–Talking about transitions– if the child is moving class or even school, it’s a helpful way to gauge their feelings and then understand how best to support them with the issues that they identify as being difficult.
– Getting to the bottom of a challenging behaviour– You know there is a trigger but you’re not sure what. Finding out the child’s thoughts and feelings on daily activities may help you uncover the issue together.
–Making one page profiles or communication passports– It’s important to have the child’s input when making these documents. Only the child can provide accurate information on what they like or don’t like to talk about. Using a Talking Mat is a fun and informative way to do this.
These are just a few suggestions off the top of my head! If you want to know more about Talking Mats, have a look at their website which provides more information on the approach and also training dates: http://www.talkingmats.com/
Once our children with communication difficulties have access to the appropriate vocabulary and have opportunities to talk about emotions, there is one more important factor to remember- We need to create an environment in which the child feels safe to chat about how they feel. Pausing, taking time to consider their opinions, responding with warmth and without judgement….Just generally being approachable!
Talking about tough stuff is tough! But we can meet our children with communication difficulties half way, providing them with the right tools within the right environment. It might still be tricky but at least as parents, teachers and health professionals, we can help to make it a little easier!